I’ve always wondered what love is and why it matters so much to all of us. Love is something we all crave; it is an emotion that is supposed to be selfless, kind and forgiving. We cannot demand it or take it away with force. It is something we give, without expecting anything in return. Maybe we love to feel cherished, or protected or even just to stop feeling like we’re the only people in the world—love is powerful like that.
But have you ever loved a person so much that you become blind to all the wrong things they do, the mistakes they make, and the countless promises they break? The only thing that this love has ever given you is sadness, guilt and more self-doubt. This love torments you and makes you question everything you knew about yourself. You know that you don’t have to live like this, and you know that you deserve much more, but you just can’t get yourself to leave. You just can’t let go.
Now that’s not real love, is it? Real love is special; it is built on mutual trust and friendship. Be it with your family, friends, partners or anyone else—a person, who truly loves you, would never intentionally hurt you in any way. They would stand by you through thick and thin, without fail. But for things to be like that there must always be a balance in any relationship. It is very important that you receive as much love as you give. The minute you feel like you’ve always been giving more love than what you were receiving, you’ll understand that you were never happy in that relationship. Maybe you were just filling up some hole in your heart, with people that aren’t even worth all the pain. Or maybe you just didn’t have the courage to leave. What if no one else likes you? What if you’ll be alone in this scary world? A person who truly loves and cares for you would never use your insecurities against you. Love is meant to be selfless, yes, but it shouldn’t just be from one side alone.
It may take a long time to get to this stage of self-realization. And the path may be difficult and tiring—you might even feel that giving up is easier—but once you get there, you’ll realize that the person who truly deserved all your love and affection had always been yourself. Give yourself the love you desperately needed, and trust yourself, before you trust anyone else. You will then find yourself surrounded by people who genuinely care about you. Once you get to that point, no relationship will have the power to break you. When you figure out the right way to yield this power that love has, you will forever be happy with the right people by your side.
Madhuri Rajkumar ([email protected])